This is the third in a series of interviews of families with children 6 yrs and under within our Spokane Chapter written by Kristy Wessels.
“I met Kirsten Witham and her husband Reuben a few ago at an ARC sponsored IEP educational meeting. Kirsten presented with a “not-to-mess-with” demeanor. Armed with her notebook, she was busy asking questions and had her husband in tow. She had a “take no prisoners” look and I remember thinking to myself, “Hmm, I must meet this mom.” At the time her son Lucas, a young boy diagnosed with Autism, was enrolled in the ASSIST program in the West Valley school district. This program is founded upon “Project Data “an early autism educational program model from the University of Washington. Allison Clark is the coordinator of this program. Lucas was 4 yrs old at the time I met with the Witham’s. Later that year, they put the IEP workshop to the test. They told the school district personnel that Lucas would be receiving some summer services.
After getting to participate with the Witham’s for over 3 yrs now, I have asked Kirsten to summarize their recipe for success for Lucas. Each child on the Spectrum is unique and I wanted her to share with us what has been helpful and inspiring to them.
Best Conference: Defeat Autism Now Seattle 2006
Kirsten and Reuben felt the need to go to this event sponsored by the Autism Research institute. www.autism.com Reuben really gravitated to what was being discussed and also was saddened to see the lack of fathers at a 1,000 + attendee event, but it was the truth. To the Witham’s, the material presented to them seemed most plausible after already going on the Gluten-free Casein-free diet with huge success. Kirsten describes that Lucas loose stools almost overnight resolved. Additionally, after eliminating many foods with high Phenol content (this is usually foods with a lot of color) he actually slept thru the night. After firing one DAN Dr and hiring another, Kristen sates that Lucas seems to make slow and steady progress. “I want our son to get healthy,” she says.
Best book : Children with Starving brains by Jacquelyn McCandless MD.
It may be helpful to our readers to know this book is now in its 6th publication and in many languages. This author is also board certified in Psychiatry and Neurology.
Best therapies for Lucas: Tomatis and Home Tutoring
Tomatis is a branch of auditory integration therapy. The Witham’s have done 3 rounds and have seen much less sound sensitivity for Lucas, his balance is better and his need for body pressure has decreased. Home tutoring, in a ABA fashion, has been huge for Lucas. He gets about 10 hrs a week of tutoring.
Best group : Mocha (Mothers of Children affected by Autism).
This is a small parent support group within our Spokane chapter that discusses health issues and Autism. Many medical (on and off label treatments) are discussed, including: 1) dietary intervention 2) vitamins and nutrients supplementation and 3) detox . The group is for educational purposes only. Ultimately, families should seek medical advice from their licensed health care professional. For more information about this small but interesting group contact www.jennyheals1 @yahoo.com
Lucas is currently enrolled in regular education in 2nd grade . He has access to a personal aide throughout the school day. Thinking back Kirsten remembers doing a long winded parent friendly questionnaire called The ABBLS. This is an extensive questionnaire which gave their family a basic idea of what their son could and could not do in 24 areas of academic and speech performance. Kirsten recalled, “I basically wrote my 1st IEP on my own but I came in with 15 pages of results, written goals and objectives.” Since then she has set the tone with her IEP team at West Valley. She also gives them a lot of credit too for the assistance and accommodations they have granted for Lucas. Currently, Kirsten states she works at home, “There was absolutely no way for me to work away.” The Witham’s also have a younger daughter April who attends preschool half the day.
Largest challenge: Potty training
“Hands down,” states Kirsten, “this has been a huge endeavor for all the family.” They actually hired a private consultant to work with them in their home for over a year .It been difficult at times to find the motivation for Lucas.
I asked Kirsten what real honest advice she could leave for other parents who may be in the beginning or find themselves in the middle of these early years and here are her words:
“Make sure to take care of yourself & try not to overcompensate for your other children. Slow down, love everyone, and that includes me.”
She elaborated, “You have to remember to stay married.” Currently, Reuben has been forced to take a computer programming job outside the Spokane vicinity and commutes home on the weekends to be with his family. Kirsten shares; “We Skype Reuben every night so he is at the dinner table with us.” Kirsten added, “Love your non autism friends, they have problems too. And know some friends cannot handle some of the dark parts of what you deal with.”
“We have had to adjust,” Kirsten said. “For our family we sacrifice getting new clothes and I often don’t get my hair done. “For us, these are necessary measures that we choose, it’s not an option.”
Reflecting back, Kirstin said, “Knowing what I know now, I would urge families with a new diagnosis. Don’t waste time!” Dealing with the diagnosis has been an ongoing journey, especially for Kirsten. She told me during our interview that she felt she wasted the first 2 years of Lucas’ life in denial. “The grief doesn’t go away, she said, you learn to deal with it better at times “
Though these last few lines may seem tough for a newly diagnosed family, it is their truth. I feel so grateful to be able to be invited in their lives as our chapter representative; to discuss the Autism Society and our options policy. But most of all, we have become great friends.
Kristy Wessel’s
Early Intervention 6yrs and under
Autism Society of Washington Spokane chapter
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